I have not backed a winner all year. Four full days. And last night’s debacle. Don’t ask.
The bank manager is getting nervous. The kids are wondering what chance new shoes for school.
I know what’s happened. The last bet of the year is all important. And I blew it.
In years gone by, I would call stumps, if I’d backed a winner near year’s end. Not that I’m superstitious in any way.
It’s just nice to end the season with cash in the kick. A sign of things to come.
A few days ago, I got the tip of all tips. It would just be winning. At Toowoomba, of all places. A New Years’s Eve meeting, where we would fill our boots.
When I was told this special, I was drinking champers. And listening to a very loud band. The brain cells available at the time dictated that I delay the call to my favourite betting agency. Too loud, you see.
You know the rest. Stop gloating. I was too late. Ten minutes, that cost me a heap. But much more than cold hard cash.
It was my last betting venture of 2013. And it was a spectacular failure. We all know what that means.
Ever since, I can’t pick left from right. Up from down. Leader from stalker. Mudlark from dry track specialist.
So now I’m lumbering on, throwing good cash sideways. Getting beaten in photos. Watching unknown hoops beat the world’s best. Sigh.
We need to change the mojo. So punting Gods, here’s what I’m prepared to do.
If I get a decent tip, back it. And no grumbling if it gets bloused.
Back my favourite jockeys in Perth. At any odds. It’s a place like no other. They will win at fifties. And no-one will ask why.
Back Chris Waller in Sydney. But not at the Provincials. No exceptions. He has camels, like all the others. And that’s where they end up.
Go to Eagle Farm more. Because it’s fun. Doomben too. And my beloved Gold Coast. And get a crew together. So many laughs.
Do the Melbourne Cup form before the Monday. You will be hungover, or drunk. Print this and tell all your close friends.
There are other rules, but I need to get to Gloucester Park trots. You understand.
I hope you’ve started the New Year with a blast. If you have a tip, maybe send it my way? Not that I’m desperate. It’s only early. What time is Turner riding in Perth?